If you are pregnant and thinking about an abortion, it's very important to make an informed decision and consider the consequences.

Here are some of the most common reasons women give to have an abortion, and our response to each one.

An abortion seems so much easier than pregnancy.  I just want to get this over with.

The abortion procedure is quick, but the effects can last a lifetime. Abortion can leave you emotionally devastated for years. Common post-abortion symptoms include depression, nightmares, guilt, regret, avoidance of babies, and even self-destructive behaviors. Most dating relationships do not survive the abortion and it eventually drives the couple further apart. Some women are physically damaged from the abortion, and a few are left permanently infertile. (see our Post-abortion page)

My parents will kill me if they find out.

It is true that your parents may be angry and disappointed, but they probably won’t kill you. If you are afraid about telling your parents, one of our counselors can work with you to determine the best way to break the news.  After the initial shock, parents of pregnant young women usually come to terms with the situation and later become an invaluable source of support. Give your parents the freedom, space and time to process their own emotions.  If you decide not to tell your parents, they usually find out anyway (it’s pretty hard to hide a pregnancy).  In these situations, mothers especially are saddened that they weren't given the opportunity to support their daughter when she most needed it.

You don't understand.
They'll kick me out of the house!

Actually, your parents are legally responsible to provide shelter for you until you are 18 years old. But even if your parents really do kick you out of the house, our centers can help you find another place to stay while you are expecting. There are a number of fully equipped maternity homes in the area with young women staying there who are in your same situation. The maternity home will assist you with prenatal care, parenting education, counseling, and many other needs you may have.

My parents are forcing me to have an abortion.

No one can legally force you to have an abortion. If you tell the doctor that someone else is forcing you into this decision, he or she cannot perform the abortion. We will work with you and your parents to provide abortion education and counsel.

I've got my whole life ahead of me.  A baby right now doesn't fit into my plans.

The truth is that there is usually never an ideal time to have a baby.  No matter when you decide to have a child,  there will be trade-offs and sacrifices to make.  It's impossible to predict the future.  Many couples wait a long time to start their families, only to find later that their circumstances never became ideal.

My boyfriend will leave me if I have this baby.

Your boyfriend is just as responsible for the pregnancy as you are.  It takes two to make a baby, so his responsibility does not end just because he doesn't want to deal with the situation anymore.  He may be treating you as no more than an object for his sexual needs, rather than a woman who is rightfully concerned about the effects of abortion on herself and her child.

It may be time to think long and hard about whether or not the relationship should continue. Either way, he is still legally required to pay child support after the baby is born. For more on a father's legal rights & responsibilities contact Child Support Enforcement at 1-800-447-4278.

I'm not ready to be a mother.

It is true that parenthood requires more responsibility than single life, but if you are pregnant you are already a mother. You are being responsible for the child inside of you by the way you treat your body now.  The real question is, "How do I treat this child whom I have already participated in creating?" Also, you may be surprised at how your feelings change as the pregnancy progresses.

I don't want to end up poor and on welfare.  I need to finish my education.

Having a baby does not have to mean that you will end up as a welfare mother, even if you are poor and single. Although it may be more difficult to continue your studies while you are caring for an infant, many women complete their educations and go on to have fulfilling and exciting careers even while doubling as mothers. Many find that having a child increases ones motivation to succeed.

We can work with you towards personal goals such as finishing school or vocational training. Also, organizations like the Nurturing Network (1-800-TNN-4MOM) exist solely to help students and aspiring professional women complete their goals while facing an unplanned pregnancy. Our experience has been that a woman's motivation and self-esteem determine her ability to do well, not an unplanned pregnancy.

I can't afford a baby.

Babies can cost as much as parents are willing to spend. Much of our society focuses on having numerous possessions for ourselves and children, but material things do not create a loving family.  Having a baby will increase your budget, however, regardless of how thrifty you are. For this reason, our centers offer maternity clothes, baby clothes, and baby equipment free-of-charge for our active clients.

I don't have any medical insurance.

It's not too late to get coverage for your prenatal care and delivery.  If you are unemployed, a student, or otherwise have little income, you will most likely qualify for Medicaid. If you make too much money for Medicaid, but not enough for private insurance, you may qualify for hospital maternity programs or funding from specific charities, such as Catholic Charities.

There are OB/GYN’s who will assist by offering a sliding scale or payment plan. You may even be able to obtain private insurance. If you are not a U.S. citizen, there are still some public funds you may be able to access. Please call our centers to discuss your funding options.

The doctor said that there might be something wrong with the baby.

While most prenatal tests can reasonably predict a problem, they don't usually give insight as to the severity of the problem. The problem may be very minor. Often the tests are wrong and the child is completely healthy. And even if the disorder is severe, the value of a human being is not dependent on the health or attractiveness of that individual. Handicapped children deserve a chance at life just as anyone else. A disabled child is still able to love and be loved, and to make a special contribution to your family.

Depending on your outlook, this child can be a blessing to you and others. You will probably need support to continue your pregnancy under such circumstances. If you feel you are unable to raise a child with special needs, there are adoption agencies who can place such children in loving homes. Call one of our centers to discuss your situation.

I just had a baby. I can't have another one right now.

If you have recently given birth, it can be a tremendous shock to find that you are pregnant again.  But having just been pregnant, you can understand more than anyone how awesome it is to have a small child developing and growing within you.  You've experienced the miracle of life before; to extinguish this life now is hard to imagine.

Two babies close together is a real challenge for even the most experienced mother, but in a few years you will find that the siblings are the best of friends. The children will entertain each other, giving you time to accomplish other tasks or relax. 

I don't know where to go for help. Everyone around me thinks abortion is the best idea.

If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and are interested in alternatives to abortion, call or send an e-mail. You can speak to a counselor who understands your situation and can offer practical solutions.